Battle Of Salamander Peak

Preface
Historians have gathered information about the infamous battle of Salamander Peak over countless years of hard work. There are three main theories as to why this took place. The main theory is that Ethane challenged Xander to a battle and Xander called upon his ally Seneca, to which Kaleb joined Ethane, at which point word spread to Kyle and he joined Xander along with REDACTED and then Malik the Grey appeared to join Ethane. The second theory is that the battle was over control of the Peak by the two tribes. The final and least popular theory is that it was not a battle at all and instead an elaborate modern art piece, although there is no evidence for this, Smoke Da Grass Tyson thinks this is the truth while rambling about how we are all going to die.

The Tribes Amass
What is known for certain is that the two tribes that met in battle that day, where consisted of Ethane, Kaleb, and Malik the Grey on one side, and Xander, Seneca, Kyle, and REDACTED on the other.

The Battle Begins
The battle began in mid afternoon. The force consisting of Ethane, Kaleb, and Malik the Grey, prepared defenses in a small entrance to a valley within Salamander Peak. They formed a crude wall out of fallen sticks and branches. Ethane and Malik the Grey became entrenched at this position while Kaleb took up the rock formation on the right side. Without warning Seneca and REDACTED launched themselves at the wall. During the chaos of the initial attack Xander attempted a flanking attack on the left side. Ethane sallied out to meet him, while on the right Kyle clashed with Kaleb in a deadly melee. While Malik the Grey was able to hold his position, Ethane was not so lucky, with Xander having slightly higher ground he had a tactical disadvantage and ended up tumbling down the hill. With the left side open Xander poured through. Kaleb on the other hand was locked in with Kyle unwavering.

The First Retreat
With Ethane tumbled and Malik the Grey overrun they had no choice but to call a retreat. They fled to a more defensible position. At the back of the Valley there was a choke point that Kaleb and Ethane could hold well. At this Seneca, Kyle, and REDACTED retreated, Xander was not so lucky and was surrounded during the Counter-Attack. Beaten Xander retreated too.

The Second Attack
Xander, Kyle, Seneca, and REDACTED were hauling ass back to their own positions. Instead of letting them recover Ethane called a charge rallying his forces, they pushed onward. For the first half of the push everything went according to plan, but then a secret weapon was unleashed.

The War Crimes of Seneca
Seneca using his awesome strength, was able to wield a fallen tree. At this Malik the Grey and Kaleb worked to fight off the others as Ethane faced Seneca. Malik the Grey tackled Xander after his weapon was shattered, Kaleb engaged Kyle in yet another heated Melee, and REDACTED was in reserve.

The Skirmish of Thundering Thiccness
Ethane launched out with a strike from a considerable sized weapon, a good parry by Seneca had Ethane backtracking and moving further back. This ultimately frustrated him and using the power of thicc he struck a massive blow to Seneca's tree, but no effect was had. Seneca then raised the mighty weapon of war, and brought it down upon Ethane's right Kidney, in white hot pain he collapsed unconscious.

The First Cease Fire
News spread to the others quickly about the Thundering Thiccness, Xander rushed to the side of the now in pain Ethane. Because of the crushing blow, a cease fire was set in place. Part of the terms of the cease fire was that pre battle borders where to be reset, although Ethane, Kaleb, and Malik the Grey had gained considerable land, they were in no position to argue and agreed.

The Third Attack
With the cease fire ended Xander, Seneca, Kyle, and REDACTED launched a massive charge to push the opposing tribe back. Xander, and Kyle attempted to tie up Ethane, Malik the Grey, and Kaleb while Seneca and REDACTED broke down the newly repaired defenses. This for the most part was successful, they did knock down the defenses, but a counter charge was able to push them to a middle ground. During intense Melee fighting Malik the Grey and Xander almost fell over the cliff face, Ethane engaged Seneca once more, and Kyle and REDACTED fought Kaleb at the rocks. Throughout the whole battle there was no other time, where the hand to hand combat was this intense. Both sides fought with everything they had, blood, sweat, and dirt coated them. After countless minutes, both sides exhausted called for yet another cease fire. This cease fire however did not change the borders and so the middle ground would still be the battle field.

The Fourth Attack
Refreshed and ready, Xander, Seneca, Kyle, and REDACTED sallied out once more to face their opponents. Ethane engaged Seneca and REDACTED, Malik the Grey engaged Xander, and Kyle agian took on Kaleb. Another intense fight ensued. Then for reasons still unknown, another cease fire was called. Some theorize this was because of another war crime. Others say it was because a peace deal was about to be negotiated, whatever the cause it was called. But then Kyle launched another attack at Kaleb

Breaking the Fourth Wall
So we called a break and Kyle then poked Kaleb with a stick, and then Kaleb jumped at him and they got into a literal fucking fist fight, Malik thought we were still in battle so he tackled Xander and I had to break up the fight. Kaleb and Kyle made up and apologized on the way back to Kaleb and Xander's house though so it was ok.

The Peace Is Made
With both sides badly beaten, and the Fourth Wall broken, a peace deal was made. No one won Salamander Peak. Ultimately the battle was for nothing. Xanders finger was bleeding, Seneca was tired, and Ethane's Kidney was destroyed. The battle was one of the most intense battles in the Redacted Wars. Historians still don't know the full story and may never. I'm your host Lester Holt, from NBC World News, signing off. Good night America.